Birth Stories

Letting Go of Fear Helped Shelby Have a Natural Birth

  • When did you realize you were really in labor?

    It was in the evening. I had had my membranes (lightly) stripped that morning to help labor get started. I was nearly 42 weeks along, so my midwife was starting (gentle) induction techniques. I remember telling my husband that he should go to bed instead of staying up to watch a movie because I *felt* like my contractions were changing. I felt like I was going to have the baby that night or the next day and I wanted him to be rested for it.

  • What was the most challenging thing about going natural?

    "Going Natural" for us meant about 4 months of intense preparation using the Hypnobirthing Method, so there was a whole process involved. There were several challenges: finding a supportive caregiver, confronting my own emotional fears about childbirth, and believing that I could do it during the transition phase. Finding a supportive caregiver was (sadly) extremely challenging. I was so scared of showing up to Labor & Delivery and getting whoever was on duty at that time; there were at least 2 doctors in my practice specifically against natural childbirth methods. It felt like I was playing Russian Roulette! After searching and searching for a solution, my midwife stepped forward and agreed to deliver me, even if it was on her day off. I was so grateful and relieved!! Confronting my own emotional fears about childbirth was not something I expected to be challenged by, because I didn't expect to have any. But, during the course of our Hypnobirthing training, we were asked to write down all of our fears before the next class. I found that I had more than I thought I did, but I was glad that I got a chance to work through all of them before going into labor. Finally, there was a time when I must have been in transition when I was convinced that there was no way my son was going to fit through my birth canal. My mind had been in the fog of labor when suddenly I felt a wave of cold logic wash over me and I was SURE that he wasn't going to fit. I could feel him pushing his way through my bones and I started telling my midwife that I wanted a C-Section because he was definitely going to get stuck. In hindsight this seems silly, but it was a huge challenge for me to relax and trust the process during that moment.

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  • What was the most helpful thing you did to prepare for childbirth?

    Choosing Hypnobirthing was the most helpful thing I did to prepare for childbirth, followed VERY VERY closely by hiring a doula (Nikki Williams of Bed Head Birth). It took a lot of commitment on our part (and our doula's), but I am here to say that Hypnobirthing works! I delivered my 9lb 1oz son without so much as an IV and felt like I could manage the whole time. It was probably also really helpful that I oiled my perineum after getting out of the shower for a few months before I went into labor. I delivered a really big first baby and I didn't tear at all!

  • What surprised you about your birth?

    I know I am a lucky one to say this, but we got exactly the birth we wanted. There were some small things that were a little surprising, but nothing major. I remember being surprised to find out that a small water bag had been preventing my son from progressing, and wondering if I could have cut my labor a few hours shorter than 17 hours. I also was a little surprised at how I felt when my son was put on my chest. It wasn't super emotional like in the movies. I was really aware of his umbilical cord sitting on a particularly fiery spot and trying to move it.

  • I was educated about how endorphins are the best pain relief, so I actively thought "loving" thoughts most of the time. I listened to my husband's voice above all others and was so full of love.
  • What pain relief strategies worked best?

    Breathing like I had been taught in Hypnobirthing was REALLY effective. This is apparent in all of my birth photos- my face is totally relaxed and I look calm. Also, I was educated about how endorphins are the best pain relief, so I actively thought "loving" thoughts most of the time. I listened to my husband's voice above all others and was so full of love. He was the loudest voice in the crowded room; he really helped me through it. I just kept thinking about how magical it was that he and I had met, fallen in love, and that our whole lives had led to that moment. It was serene, warm, and tender. Lastly, having a doula (Nikki Williams of Bed Head Birth) was one of the best decisions! She knew just how to apply counter pressure to my back to really help me through my (sunny side up) contractions.

  • What position did you end up delivering in?

    Despite laboring all over the room, bed, bathroom, shower, car, and my house, I wound up delivering reclined on the bed with my legs in the air. It wasn't so bad. I couldn't get out of that position, so it was the most comfortable at the time. Also, it was a pretty good position for my doula (Nikki Williams of Bed Head Birth) and husband to provide counter pressure to my back since I was having pretty intense back labor.

  • How did it feel to hold your baby for the first time?

    It wasn't like I thought it would be; there wasn't a wave of euphoric love like I was expecting. I remember being acutely aware of how sore and depleted I felt. My son's umbilical cord was also resting on a particularly fiery spot and I remember being distracted trying to move it. Lastly, my newborn son looked REALLY similar to my father, so it was hard to have ecstatic love for him in the very beginning.

  • What advice can you give to other mamas who want to go natural?

    Practice, practice, practice!! You can't expect to just wing it in the delivery room. I don't think any of the methods are more effective than the others, so just pick one that is convenient for you and keep with it!! There is really no reason NOT to prepare to go natural. Best case, you can have a calm, unmedicated delivery. Worst case, your practice will still make you more peaceful during whatever happens on the day.

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