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When did you realize you were really in labor?
I woke up around 5 AM to find that my water had broke. Like-- a gush. Everyone told me that it's more like a trickle when it breaks, but mine was definitely Hollywood inspired. I was 38 weeks pregnant and had no signs that labor would be approaching. I called my midwife to let her know and she told me to check in with her for another 12 hours (or sooner if labor started progressing). I had mild, irregular contractions throughout the day but the real ones didn't start until much, much later at the hospital.
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What was the most challenging thing about going natural?
The hardest thing for me was not being able to plan anything. In my dream labor scenario, I would be able to labor at home until I was nearing transition and then go to the hospital. My best friend and photographer was coming up to document the birth, a 2-hour drive, and not knowing when to tell her to leave made me feel bad. I'm used to controlling situations, but this one was so far out of my control. While in labor though, I didn't think of these things... just a bit at the beginning.
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What was the most helpful thing you did to prepare for childbirth?
Take a childbirth class that was offered by someone other than the hospital. Learning to advocate for myself as well as learning about the drugs and interventions doctors, midwives and hospitals use helped me make good choices for my baby and I. This also helped me have the confidence to switch providers at 34 weeks because I was unsatisfied with the way my original OB reacted when I told her I wanted to talk about birth plans. I'm a non-confrontational person by nature and by switching I worried about hurting her feelings in the back of my head. My birth class taught me that I am a consumer and what is just another day at work for her is a HUGE life event for me. When I followed my gut and switched to a midwife, I felt safe and that my birth plan and desires would be supported and they were!
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What surprised you about your birth?
I was surprised with how well I handled it. I have a high tolerance for pain, but it was amazing watching my body transform. It's like the conscious version of myself left my brain and instinct and something else just took over. I definitely felt the pain, but somehow my body helped take over my mind in a way so that it was manageable. I was also surprised not needing or asking for the things I "knew" I'd want. I thought I'd want music but just wanted silence. I thought I'd want to spend most of my labor in the tub, but once it started I didn't want to mess with stepping in and out of the water.
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Prepare yourself that it's going to hurt, no matter what relaxation or coping techniques you have. I think knowing that I'd be in pain was more helpful to me.
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What pain relief strategies worked best?
Breathing! Having a supportive team there to remind you to breathe, to tell you, you're doing great, giving you water or coconut water.
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What position did you end up delivering in?
I had no desire to deliver in a semi-reclined position, but after 37 hours of labor (and weeks of little sleep before that due to PUPPS), I was too tired to squat (my original position of choice). I wasn't laying flat on my back, but I was surprised that was how it ended up happening. I was able to "catch" my son that way though, which was really special for me.
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How did it feel to hold your baby for the first time?
I wish I could put that feeling into just one emotion. I was relieved, shocked, overwhelmed, tired, amazed and in disbelief that he was really here!
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What advice can you give to other mamas who want to go natural?
Get a really great support team. Get people who will have good energy and be alert when you're tired. Get people who will be able to hold you up (literally and emotionally) and can push hard enough on your back in the event of back labor. Get people who will help you stick to your birth plan and will advocate for you when you're in too much pain to speak. Stay hydrated, move around as much as you can, try to find moments to laugh or even cry. Prepare yourself that it's going to hurt, no matter what relaxation or coping techniques you have. I think knowing that I'd be in pain was more helpful to me, despite taking classes and reading tons of articles about mindful meditation and similar things, was more realistic and therefore helped me get through it better. As soon as your placenta is delivered you'll feel the most relief you've ever felt. It's like a gold medal, in a way :)
