Sh*t Crunchy Mamas Say

It’s here! Written by natural mamas just like YOU. Inspired by “Sh*t Girls Say” and “Sh*t New Age Girls Say.”

If you enjoy this, please share via the “Like” or “Tweet” buttons below. XOXO!

Written by:

Genevieve MamaNatural
Michael PapaNatural
Theresa Armstrong
Laura Dunn
Jennifer Cook Obergfell
Christine Cortes
Kendra Mason Purcell β€Ž
Krystie Wood
Abbey Byrd
Lindsey Harrington Parks
Jenny Sarafin
Angela Elliott
Robinmarie Vabolis
Katherine Georgetti Dragonrider Morel

Sh*t Crunchy Mamas Say include:

Sorry I smell like garlic, I’m trying to kick this cold.
Who was your doula?
Are you going to the chicken pox party?
I love the amber teething necklace! (find out if it’s safe)
Wanna carpool to the nurse-in?
You use regular deodorant?
I might eat the placenta, I might not.
48 hour water birth. Yes it hurt like hell.
We don’t have a crib?
Two Words: Big Pharma. Baby wise. Elective c-section.
Facebook took down another one of my breastfeeding pictures!
We chose not to mutilate his genitals.
Does this baby carrier show off my back fat?
It’s called The Business of Being Born.

About the Author

Genevieve Howland is a childbirth educator and breastfeeding advocate. She is the bestselling author of The Mama Natural Week-by-Week Guide to Pregnancy and Childbirth and creator of the Mama Natural Birth Course. A mother of three, graduate of the University of Colorado, and YouTuber with over 75,000,000 views, she helps mothers and moms-to-be lead healthier and more natural lives.


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  1. I found this really funny and loved these!! Keep sharing and make people laugh. πŸ™‚

  2. Pumping in a toilet? I know some women have no other choice, but I find that terrible.
    What could have been funny, too, is showing somebody pump in an office, while on the phone perhaps?

    Oh, and perhaps including something with essential oils. They are so trendy these days.

  3. The sound of the pump totally cracked me up. All too familiar! πŸ˜€

  4. So funny! I can SO relate!

  5. love your videos! if there is a part three, it would be great to see something on elimination communication/infant potty training. keep up the good work!

    • We keep trying to include but just wasn’t that funny on film. I do have one “I think she’s pooping” which was a slight nod to EC :).

  6. You must MUST add….. NO food coloring and Real PEANUT Butter, nothing hydrogenated we don’t do free radicals.

  7. True!! So awesome all the way–and I really loved your Part 2 with the raw milk and dairy farmer scenes! How about these for Part 3:

    – Just take flax seed oil and it will clear up in a few days.
    – They had a sale on wooden toys, I was so excited.
    – ToysRUs gives me a headache.
    – Should I use cloth diapers or go diaper-free?
    – Yes, we still nurse. But usually only if he comes home from school really tired and needs help going down for a nap.
    – Waldorf or Montessori? Can’t decide.
    – We chose unschooling, for an unfettered education.
    – Do the chickens run around in pasture?
    – Is that organic?
    – How many hours do you let it ferment on the counter?
    – Do you want to see my home birth video?
    – Do you want to see my unassisted birth video?
    – They should make beds bigger than king size. It’s hard fitting the whole family in one bed!
    – Here’s some arnica for that bruise.
    – Oh, don’t throw away those plastic plates! We’ll wash them and reuse them.
    – Ooh, I’ll take the 10 lb bag of baking soda.
    – Costco carries organic quinoa? Yes!
    – Do you want to go in on a cow-share with me?
    – Want some of my toasted seaweed snack?
    – I love your nursing beads!


    • Absolutely love these. πŸ™‚

  8. This was great. But I’m wondering: aren’t Baby Wise and no crib contradictory? Baby Wise to me didn’t allow for co-sleeping. Thoughts? Thanks!

  9. Hysterical! Watching at work as I pump with my Medela!

  10. Genevieve, that was the funniest thing ever! I am not a mom (yet) and I am working my way oh so slowly into the more natural realm of things, I find it hardest to get my husband on board with me if I go too quickly with these things, but between my best friend, well, many of my closest friends, my family, and the general lifestyle of many that live where I used to (seattle area) I got every single one of these.

    I am also an over planner so although we don’t have any kiddos just yet – I am more than familiar with every birthing reference… Guess that might mean I’m off to a great start, lol. This makes me smile so much I have watched it every day since I saw it on facebook and am now catching up on all of your vlogging… LOVE it! Keep it up! πŸ˜€ Thank you so much for doing these!

    • Aw, thanks so much Jenna! You are an overachiever natural mama! LOL :)> I’m glad I gave you some chuckles. I love making people laugh. Seattle is a wonderful place to live for all things crunchy. You go girl! XOXO.

      • I miss it… Seattle is amazing! I’m in FL now and I have to say – not easy to lead a natural lifestyle here… But hubby is great at finding amazing hole in the wall natural stores for us to go shopping at – he is wonderful like that! I’m so lucky! πŸ˜€

  11. Have been watching this over and over…soooo funny and you do a great job with the expressions and intonations! Loved the “low fat” as I am constantly complaining to my husband how hard it has become to find high fat yogurt!

  12. Love it! I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants. Shared it too!

  13. I had to watch this over and over. So funny and true. Thank you for allowing us to laugh at ourselves in a non-threatening way.

  14. I was laughing so hard at the “I might eat my placenta, I might not” I don’t know how you say everything with such a serious face…I would have died laughing if I was the one saying those things!

    • It was tough… especially because I had a pillow shoved up my shirt ;)> LOL!

  15. I am so glad I read the comments! My friend who is appalled by crunchy stuff posted the link to your video on her Facebook page – I watched it and at first my feelings were hurt and confused because I got every one of your references and have said and done most of this stuff – I was confused and thought it was a vicious attack on crunchy – but then when I realized you were making fun and it DID feel good to laugh about it and myself and how I may have come across to people! It’s painful but funny at the same time. Seeing the woman check her watch when being told about “The Business of Being Born….” Um, yup, I get it. You guys are clever. You did it with subtlety and style. Thank you for making me smile and feel better about my perhaps, perhaps-not, wacky mothering beliefs. I was an AP International member and a La Leche League leader. I guess to other people it can come across as a religion. It’s good for people to know we can laugh about it.

  16. Wow…Im SOOOOOO Crunchy! If there were points to be earned from all the things you said and its relevance in my life, I would totally win! Thanks for the laugh πŸ™‚

  17. I thought it was really funny, but the Part about mutilating genitals is borderline offensive, especially to us regretful moms out here who are now more educated. Yes, my son (and husband) were unnecessarily altered, but they were not mutilated.

    • Hi Susan, thanks for sharing; I can see your perspective; and oh, my intention wasn’t to be harmful. In this particular video, I portray a very exaggerated persona with strong and somewhat judgmental opinions that are counter cultural so that we can all laugh at ourselves.

  18. I would love to see a video on how to cook with a clay pot. Such as a whole chicken meal or a roast. YAY!

  19. Please post! This is my sister and she’s trying so hard to cloth diaper full time but its so hard to build up a sufficient stash one a low low income.

  20. Please make another video! Surely there is more to be said πŸ™‚

  21. This made my day… So funny! I’ve shown it to several friends who are like “Other people say this?!” (I’m alone in my crunchiness here)

  22. OMG. I think I’m your new biggest fan! Hilarious and uplifting!

    • Aw, thanks Christine. So glad you stopped by and said hello. XOXO!

  23. I love it!! Splendid! I can’t stop watching this;)

    • LOL! Happy to hear. We had so much fun making and I love making people laugh :)>.

  24. (And I did eat my placenta…I do not recommend it. Weird texture. Next time I’ll have it encapsulated!)

    • LOL!

  25. Amazing. My favorites were “Spirulina!…ugh, spirulina” (though in our case it was chlorella)…”coconut oil…where’s the coconut oil…” (it IS always hiding!) and “Oh, I got lowfat?!” (Actually I usually say this to my husband, who does most of the grocery shopping for me). Hilarious! Also “Oh, only 20 bucks?” Lol, oh, Whole Foods…(Trader Joe’s definitely has better prices!) I so love the trapped, half-interested facial expressions of the people you talk to in this video too btw. Classic.

    • LOL! So happy you can relate. The low-fat one was kinda subtle and I think some people think I wanted the fat free but NO, I want the whole fat :)>. My husband gets the wrath sometimes if he gets the wrong stuff. Poor guy!

      • Lol, I want the whole fat milk so I can make the yogurt! πŸ™‚

  26. This is great. This is the first time I have seen your blog/ vlog and I have to say I am hooked!

  27. This is me- 100%. You are so spot on! I laughed so hard! I shared you on my blog! Thanks for this! – dr lisa (chiropractor)

  28. Hilarious. As a doula and a woman who is trying to get pregnant and lead a greener life I have heard myself say those things. Oh the looks we get… πŸ™‚

  29. How about Sh*t your crunchy kid says?”

    –Mom, does this have corn syrup in it? (my 3 year old)
    –How come their parents take them to eat junk at McDonalds?
    etc. πŸ™‚

    • I am glad that my kids aren’t the only ones who are guilty of that!
      All of the
      “ooooh, mommy I have a gluten tummy ache”
      “is that dairy free? She can’t have dairy!”
      “are we out of almond milk?”
      And the worst comment by my daughter to a stranger in the park
      “you know, formula is t good for babies. You really should give your baby mommy milk!” I almost died from embarrassment!

    • Ha! I love what crunchy kids say. Mine anyway! I asked my little 4 year old girl sheepishly if we should have pizza for dinner. She said, “no mom, I don’t really love pizza. How about a salad?!” Her friends asked her if she wanted some kool aid and she said, “what’s that?” And when Daniel Tiger went for his checkup, she said kinda worried, “mom, shots are NOT good for him!!”

  30. Oh boy…this is way too close to home!!

  31. Loved it! I now have to admit that I’m crunchier than I thought..

  32. I was ROLLING laughing!!! Loved the breast pump noise in the bathroom!!! But I didn’t even go into a stall – just stood there near the outlet and smiled – hahahahah!

  33. I pretty much have said every single thing from this video.

    And the mason jar? My coworkers think I’m drinking moonshine. πŸ˜‰

    LOVE it.

  34. Oh, and all of my AP mama friends spotted the mason jars as well. It was like being at one of our playgroups!

  35. I just listened to my husband on the phone while he watched this video. He was “Oh my gosh”ing every single comment, because he totally got every single one of these. I told him, “See! I’m not a weirdo! There’s more like me out there – enough to make a video of us!” But he just thinks we should start our own commune. =) Loved this video so much. It was spot on.

  36. LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!! And I love the breast pump going in the background. And the coconut oil, and the maple syrup, and the keegels, and the deodorant question…. etc etc. Thanks! Shared it on my facebook page.

  37. Yes…I was doing the same lately looking for coconut oil. And no low-fat ANYTHING in this house – that just means sugar and fillers! Got to check out that spirulina. πŸ™‚

  38. You are awesome! Love that you made one of these. I noticed on yt that you liked “sh*t Asian dads say.” By any chance is your dad Asian? I’m mixed, too (African American and German American) so I always ask if I suspect. What can I say, I’m nosy! πŸ™‚

    I had no idea how loud breast pumps were until a friend of mine put hers on. It sounds like a humidifier!

    • LOL! I love that video “Sh*t Asian Dads Say” No, I’m not Asian but I have a lot of friends from all of the world and much rung true from what they’ve shared and I’ve witnessed (of course, exaggerated greatly). Mike and I had fun watching lots of Sh*t videos as we thought about making ours.

      And, YES, pumps sound hilarious!

  39. LMAO! This is so hilarious! I usually say chlorella!

    • Lol, it’s chlorella for us too! And blueberries…man blueberries make poop ridiculous, and my son eats them everyday… πŸ™‚

      • My. son. is. obsessed. with. blueberries. Every day, he would eat a pint if he could. LOL! Grateful that they’re a healthy snack!

  40. Awesome and hilarious! Thank you so much! I couldn’t stop laughing : )

  41. Hilarious and dead on. Oh NO I bought low fat!….

    • Oh, glad you *got* that. I wasn’t sure about that one :).

  42. SO hilarious, thank you so much, I needed a laugh so bad tonight, that was awesome!

  43. This was hilarious! I thought I was only kinda crunchy until I lost count of all of the things I’ve said/done here…time to come out of the crunchy closet I think!

  44. I loved every single second of that!

  45. This was wonderful so glad someone shared it on FB because I found your blog! Always fun to find another crunchy mom-blogger.

    Seriously I spent 10 minutes and 2 managers the other day trying to find coconut oil in my grocery store. They always had it with the oils but the recently renovated and couldn’t find it. In the end it was in beauty and the manager told me “because it is a body lotion and not for food.” /facepalm!

    • Totally. Coconut oil is always hiding πŸ™‚

      So glad you stopped by! XOXO.

    • Yeah, ’cause you’d’ve eaten it, wouldn’t ya? LOL!

  46. You so crack me up, Genevieve! I’m still working on becoming a crunchy mama and I say half of these!

    • Oh, good, Dana. I love to make people laugh :). XOXO.

  47. guilty πŸ™‚

  48. Now, see, the breast pumping sounds just had me laughing until I dang-near choked. You are so WRONG, Gen! LOL!

    • If it feels this right, how can it be wrong :). LOL! Glad you got a laugh. That’s what it’s about :).

  49. Love it, thanks for the laugh!

  50. So funny! I couldn’t stop laughing. πŸ™‚ I’ve said quite a bit of those…

  51. ohh….this is toooo funny!! Only “we” get it. πŸ™‚

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