Sh*t Crunchy Mamas Say

It’s here! Written by natural mamas just like YOU. Inspired by “Sh*t Girls Say” and “Sh*t New Age Girls Say.”

If you enjoy this, please share via the “Like” or “Tweet” buttons below. XOXO!

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Written by:

Genevieve MamaNatural
Michael PapaNatural
Theresa Armstrong
Laura Dunn
Jennifer Cook Obergfell
Christine Cortes
Kendra Mason Purcell ‎
Krystie Wood
Abbey Byrd
Lindsey Harrington Parks
Jenny Sarafin
Angela Elliott
Robinmarie Vabolis
Katherine Georgetti Dragonrider Morel

Sh*t Crunchy Mamas Say include:

Sorry I smell like garlic, I’m trying to kick this cold.
Who was your doula?
Are you going to the chicken pox party?
I love the amber teething necklace!
Wanna carpool to the nurse-in?
You use regular deodorant?
I might eat the placenta, I might not.
48 hour water birth. Yes it hurt like hell.
We don’t have a crib?
Two Words: Big Pharma. Vaccine injury. Baby wise. Elective c-section.
Facebook took down another one of my breastfeeding pictures!
We chose not to mutilate his genitals.
Does this baby carrier show off my back fat?
It’s called The Business of Being Born.
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About Genevieve

After battling weight, digestive, and immune system issues for years, I know firsthand the harmful effects of conventional life. Through a long road of detox, I discovered the healing power of natural living. This transformation spread into every area of my life - physical, emotional & spiritual. Now I'm on a mission to help other mamas live happier, healthier lives.

Please note: Many links on this site, especially those to Amazon, are affiliate links. Should you click on these links and purchase something, the price is no different for you and I earn a small commission. Thanks for supporting Mama Natural!

Disclaimer: The statements made here have not been approved by the Food and Drug Administration. These statements are not intended to diagnose, treat or cure or prevent any disease. This notice is required by the Federal Food, Drug and Cosmetic Act.

97 Comments

  1. Allison July 4 at 5:52 pm

    So funny! I can SO relate!

  2. terri February 27 at 4:47 pm

    love your videos! if there is a part three, it would be great to see something on elimination communication/infant potty training. keep up the good work!

    • Genevieve February 28 at 9:56 pm

      We keep trying to include but just wasn’t that funny on film. I do have one “I think she’s pooping” which was a slight nod to EC :).

  3. Kay February 24 at 9:43 pm

    You must MUST add….. NO food coloring and Real PEANUT Butter, nothing hydrogenated we don’t do free radicals.

  4. Wendy February 23 at 11:38 am

    True!! So awesome all the way–and I really loved your Part 2 with the raw milk and dairy farmer scenes! How about these for Part 3:

    – Just take flax seed oil and it will clear up in a few days.
    – They had a sale on wooden toys, I was so excited.
    – ToysRUs gives me a headache.
    – Should I use cloth diapers or go diaper-free?
    – Yes, we still nurse. But usually only if he comes home from school really tired and needs help going down for a nap.
    – Waldorf or Montessori? Can’t decide.
    – We chose unschooling, for an unfettered education.
    – Do the chickens run around in pasture?
    – Is that organic?
    – How many hours do you let it ferment on the counter?
    – Do you want to see my home birth video?
    – Do you want to see my unassisted birth video?
    – They should make beds bigger than king size. It’s hard fitting the whole family in one bed!
    – Here’s some arnica for that bruise.
    – Oh, don’t throw away those plastic plates! We’ll wash them and reuse them.
    – Ooh, I’ll take the 10 lb bag of baking soda.
    – Costco carries organic quinoa? Yes!
    – Do you want to go in on a cow-share with me?
    – Want some of my toasted seaweed snack?
    – I love your nursing beads!

    Enjoy!

  5. Brooke February 23 at 11:10 am

    This was great. But I’m wondering: aren’t Baby Wise and no crib contradictory? Baby Wise to me didn’t allow for co-sleeping. Thoughts? Thanks!

  6. Aub February 15 at 11:48 am

    Hysterical! Watching at work as I pump with my Medela!

  7. Jenna February 8 at 3:24 pm

    Genevieve, that was the funniest thing ever! I am not a mom (yet) and I am working my way oh so slowly into the more natural realm of things, I find it hardest to get my husband on board with me if I go too quickly with these things, but between my best friend, well, many of my closest friends, my family, and the general lifestyle of many that live where I used to (seattle area) I got every single one of these.

    I am also an over planner so although we don’t have any kiddos just yet – I am more than familiar with every birthing reference… Guess that might mean I’m off to a great start, lol. This makes me smile so much I have watched it every day since I saw it on facebook and am now catching up on all of your vlogging… LOVE it! Keep it up! :D Thank you so much for doing these!

    • Genevieve February 9 at 10:28 pm

      Aw, thanks so much Jenna! You are an overachiever natural mama! LOL :)> I’m glad I gave you some chuckles. I love making people laugh. Seattle is a wonderful place to live for all things crunchy. You go girl! XOXO.

      • Jenna February 10 at 1:17 pm

        I miss it… Seattle is amazing! I’m in FL now and I have to say – not easy to lead a natural lifestyle here… But hubby is great at finding amazing hole in the wall natural stores for us to go shopping at – he is wonderful like that! I’m so lucky! :D

  8. Joanne February 6 at 2:10 pm

    Have been watching this over and over…soooo funny and you do a great job with the expressions and intonations! Loved the “low fat” as I am constantly complaining to my husband how hard it has become to find high fat yogurt!

  9. Julee February 6 at 9:07 am

    Love it! I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants. Shared it too!

  10. Kay February 3 at 10:42 pm

    I had to watch this over and over. So funny and true. Thank you for allowing us to laugh at ourselves in a non-threatening way.

  11. Kim February 3 at 9:17 pm

    I was laughing so hard at the “I might eat my placenta, I might not” I don’t know how you say everything with such a serious face…I would have died laughing if I was the one saying those things!

    • Genevieve February 7 at 10:00 pm

      It was tough… especially because I had a pillow shoved up my shirt ;)> LOL!

  12. Molly February 3 at 1:38 pm

    I am so glad I read the comments! My friend who is appalled by crunchy stuff posted the link to your video on her Facebook page – I watched it and at first my feelings were hurt and confused because I got every one of your references and have said and done most of this stuff – I was confused and thought it was a vicious attack on crunchy – but then when I realized you were making fun and it DID feel good to laugh about it and myself and how I may have come across to people! It’s painful but funny at the same time. Seeing the woman check her watch when being told about “The Business of Being Born….” Um, yup, I get it. You guys are clever. You did it with subtlety and style. Thank you for making me smile and feel better about my perhaps, perhaps-not, wacky mothering beliefs. I was an AP International member and a La Leche League leader. I guess to other people it can come across as a religion. It’s good for people to know we can laugh about it.

  13. Heather @ In Her Chucks February 3 at 3:03 am

    Wow…Im SOOOOOO Crunchy! If there were points to be earned from all the things you said and its relevance in my life, I would totally win! Thanks for the laugh :)

  14. Susan February 3 at 12:57 am

    I thought it was really funny, but the Part about mutilating genitals is borderline offensive, especially to us regretful moms out here who are now more educated. Yes, my son (and husband) were unnecessarily altered, but they were not mutilated.

    • Alicia February 3 at 8:13 am

      Hi Susan! I had to have my son circumcised at 17 months due to repeated infections. It was a horrible experience for our little family, I cried every day for two weeks until he healed up. If I could do it over, I would have had him circumcised the day he was born when he was still doped up on natural oxytocin, when it would not have hurt him so much and he could heal up much more quickly and comfortably. So I am usually the first one to speak up when someone calls infant circumcision “barbaric,” ” mutilation” or “child abuse.” I know it is a choice people make with love and prevention in mind, not to hurt the child. In the case of this video, however, I found it funny, since I thought the whole point of the video was to poke fun at how we crunchy mamas can sometimes get a little borderline obsessive and maybe a teeny bit obnoxious sometimes with our views. If I can laugh at myself for stressing over the right kind of yogurt or only using homemade deodorant or obsessing over vaccine safety, I can laugh at someone else for going a little overboard with their intactivism. We also ended up doing the Ferber sleep method at 5 months out of sheer necessity, and I’ve taken crap for that from other crunchy mamas, but I still laughed at the “we don’t HAVE a crib” part! :-)

      • Alicia February 3 at 8:32 am

        (I am also the first to speak up to defend moms who use formula, who don’t babywear, or who have c-sections…just because I chose to breastfeed, babywear and have a natural childbirth does not mean I’m somehow a better mom than they are, it just means I made different choices based on my own beliefs and circumstances!)

        • Susan February 3 at 10:52 am

          Alicia – thank you for your candidness and honesty – it means a lot. That’s the key to me releasing some of that guilt, is to remember that it was a well-intentioned choice which I made with my son’s absolute best interest in mind (or what I thought it was at the time, anyway). That I feel differently now doesn’t change the intention.
          I am sorry that your son had to go through that at 17 months. I know those things can happen, I saw it in med school, and it was definitely at the forefront of my mind when I made the decision.
          The difference in my mind between poking fun at cosleeping and breastfeeding vs the other “mainstream” choices, is that nobody who is putting their child to sleep in a crib or formula feeding is being accused of “mutilation.” Those sort of words run deep, even if meant in a tongue-in-cheek manner, and should be used sparingly and carefully.

          • Alicia February 3 at 11:55 am

            I definitely agree with you there…it can be very hard not to take it personally. Especially when I see that word, mutilation, on public forums where everything is anonymous…people feel like they can attack one another and be cruel because no one knows who they are. Best to tread very carefully! I got so sick of seeking advice on these huge anonymous parenting forums where everyone had free reign to attack one another that I started my own private mothers group on Facebook. People can only join if they are invited by another member that they know personally and trust (which means no anonymity, therefore no cattiness) and there are rules: the number one rule being “No judgement, no criticism, only encouragement and support.” If anyone posts something offensive or hurtful, it’s immediately removed. It’s a small group but has been amazingly successful and helpful to me and to others, and I highly encourage anyone to set up a group like that on their own!

        • Genevieve February 7 at 9:48 pm

          I agree. And I am certainly not Ms. Crunchy. We don’t co-sleep; we use a stroller; I didn’t do BLW; I could go on… We take what works for us and leave the rest. I also made mistakes along the way and will continue to do so. That’s life. That’s motherhood :). I support all mamas that are trying to make the best choices for their families. That’s what it’s all about.

      • Genevieve February 7 at 9:46 pm

        Thanks for sharing Alicia. Love your attitude.

    • Genevieve February 7 at 9:43 pm

      Hi Susan, thanks for sharing; I can see your perspective; and oh, my intention wasn’t to be harmful. In this particular video, I portray a very exaggerated persona with strong and somewhat judgmental opinions that are counter cultural so that we can all laugh at ourselves.

  15. Miss Dee February 2 at 9:02 pm

    I would love to see a video on how to cook with a clay pot. Such as a whole chicken meal or a roast. YAY!

  16. Samantha February 2 at 2:04 pm

    Please post! This is my sister and she’s trying so hard to cloth diaper full time but its so hard to build up a sufficient stash one a low low income. http://goo.gl/LSHwh

  17. Kristine February 2 at 11:48 am

    Please make another video! Surely there is more to be said :)

  18. Kyleen Sherwood February 2 at 10:34 am

    This made my day… So funny! I’ve shown it to several friends who are like “Other people say this?!” (I’m alone in my crunchiness here)

  19. Christine February 2 at 10:29 am

    OMG. I think I’m your new biggest fan! Hilarious and uplifting!

    • Genevieve February 2 at 11:38 pm

      Aw, thanks Christine. So glad you stopped by and said hello. XOXO!

  20. Tina February 2 at 12:07 am

    I love it!! Splendid! I can’t stop watching this;)

    • Genevieve February 2 at 11:40 pm

      LOL! Happy to hear. We had so much fun making and I love making people laugh :)>.

  21. Alicia February 1 at 10:58 pm

    (And I did eat my placenta…I do not recommend it. Weird texture. Next time I’ll have it encapsulated!)

    • Ariel February 27 at 5:01 pm

      LOL!

  22. Alicia February 1 at 10:50 pm

    Amazing. My favorites were “Spirulina!…ugh, spirulina” (though in our case it was chlorella)…”coconut oil…where’s the coconut oil…” (it IS always hiding!) and “Oh, I got lowfat?!” (Actually I usually say this to my husband, who does most of the grocery shopping for me). Hilarious! Also “Oh, only 20 bucks?” Lol, oh, Whole Foods…(Trader Joe’s definitely has better prices!) I so love the trapped, half-interested facial expressions of the people you talk to in this video too btw. Classic.

    • Genevieve February 2 at 11:41 pm

      LOL! So happy you can relate. The low-fat one was kinda subtle and I think some people think I wanted the fat free but NO, I want the whole fat :)>. My husband gets the wrath sometimes if he gets the wrong stuff. Poor guy!

      • Alicia February 3 at 7:27 am

        Lol, I want the whole fat milk so I can make the yogurt! :-)

  23. Leticia February 1 at 10:40 pm

    This is great. This is the first time I have seen your blog/ vlog and I have to say I am hooked!

    • Genevieve February 2 at 11:42 pm

      Aw, thanks Leticia. Welcome! XOXO.

  24. Lisa Morris February 1 at 8:34 pm

    This is me- 100%. You are so spot on! I laughed so hard! I shared you on my blog! Thanks for this! – dr lisa (chiropractor)

    • Genevieve February 2 at 11:28 pm

      Thanks so much Dr. Lisa! XOXO.

  25. Jackie Roberts February 1 at 3:54 pm

    Hilarious. As a doula and a woman who is trying to get pregnant and lead a greener life I have heard myself say those things. Oh the looks we get… :)

  26. Lee Ann February 1 at 1:25 pm

    How about Sh*t your crunchy kid says?”

    –Mom, does this have corn syrup in it? (my 3 year old)
    –How come their parents take them to eat junk at McDonalds?
    etc. :-)

    • Shonny Isley February 2 at 12:41 am

      I am glad that my kids aren’t the only ones who are guilty of that!
      All of the
      “ooooh, mommy I have a gluten tummy ache”
      “is that dairy free? She can’t have dairy!”
      “are we out of almond milk?”
      And the worst comment by my daughter to a stranger in the park
      “you know, formula is t good for babies. You really should give your baby mommy milk!” I almost died from embarrassment!

      • Genevieve February 2 at 11:39 pm

        WOW! Your children are educated :).

  27. Meggan February 1 at 11:57 am

    Oh boy…this is way too close to home!!

  28. Michelle February 1 at 10:47 am

    Loved it! I now have to admit that I’m crunchier than I thought..

  29. Michaeleen February 1 at 8:47 am

    I was ROLLING laughing!!! Loved the breast pump noise in the bathroom!!! But I didn’t even go into a stall – just stood there near the outlet and smiled – hahahahah!

  30. Ashley // Our Little Apartment February 1 at 5:48 am

    I pretty much have said every single thing from this video.

    And the mason jar? My coworkers think I’m drinking moonshine. ;)

    LOVE it.

  31. Amy Hoyt February 1 at 12:33 am

    Oh, and all of my AP mama friends spotted the mason jars as well. It was like being at one of our playgroups!

  32. Amy Hoyt February 1 at 12:31 am

    I just listened to my husband on the phone while he watched this video. He was “Oh my gosh”ing every single comment, because he totally got every single one of these. I told him, “See! I’m not a weirdo! There’s more like me out there – enough to make a video of us!” But he just thinks we should start our own commune. =) Loved this video so much. It was spot on.

  33. Free Range Mama February 1 at 12:20 am

    LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!! And I love the breast pump going in the background. And the coconut oil, and the maple syrup, and the keegels, and the deodorant question…. etc etc. Thanks! Shared it on my facebook page.

  34. Jolene February 1 at 12:07 am

    Yes…I was doing the same lately looking for coconut oil. And no low-fat ANYTHING in this house – that just means sugar and fillers! Got to check out that spirulina. :)

  35. creole wisdom January 31 at 10:37 pm

    You are awesome! Love that you made one of these. I noticed on yt that you liked “sh*t Asian dads say.” By any chance is your dad Asian? I’m mixed, too (African American and German American) so I always ask if I suspect. What can I say, I’m nosy! :)

    I had no idea how loud breast pumps were until a friend of mine put hers on. It sounds like a humidifier!

    • Genevieve February 1 at 12:13 am

      LOL! I love that video “Sh*t Asian Dads Say” No, I’m not Asian but I have a lot of friends from all of the world and much rung true from what they’ve shared and I’ve witnessed (of course, exaggerated greatly). Mike and I had fun watching lots of Sh*t videos as we thought about making ours.

      And, YES, pumps sound hilarious!

    • Alicia February 1 at 10:54 pm

      Lol, it’s chlorella for us too! And blueberries…man blueberries make poop ridiculous, and my son eats them everyday… :-)

      • Genevieve February 2 at 11:40 pm

        My. son. is. obsessed. with. blueberries. Every day, he would eat a pint if he could. LOL! Grateful that they’re a healthy snack!

  36. Alison January 31 at 9:46 pm

    Awesome and hilarious! Thank you so much! I couldn’t stop laughing : )

    • Genevieve February 1 at 12:16 am

      Oh, glad you *got* that. I wasn’t sure about that one :).

  37. Aliza January 31 at 8:37 pm

    SO hilarious, thank you so much, I needed a laugh so bad tonight, that was awesome!

  38. Katie B January 31 at 8:18 pm

    This was hilarious! I thought I was only kinda crunchy until I lost count of all of the things I’ve said/done here…time to come out of the crunchy closet I think!

  39. Kim January 31 at 8:01 pm

    I loved every single second of that!

  40. Paige @ Baby Dust Diaries January 31 at 6:39 pm

    This was wonderful so glad someone shared it on FB because I found your blog! Always fun to find another crunchy mom-blogger.

    Seriously I spent 10 minutes and 2 managers the other day trying to find coconut oil in my grocery store. They always had it with the oils but the recently renovated and couldn’t find it. In the end it was in beauty and the manager told me “because it is a body lotion and not for food.” /facepalm!

    • Genevieve February 1 at 12:04 am

      Totally. Coconut oil is always hiding :)

      So glad you stopped by! XOXO.

    • Miss Dee February 1 at 11:19 am

      Yeah, ’cause you’d’ve eaten it, wouldn’t ya? LOL!

  41. Dana Boyle January 31 at 6:08 pm

    You so crack me up, Genevieve! I’m still working on becoming a crunchy mama and I say half of these!

    • Genevieve January 31 at 11:59 pm

      Oh, good, Dana. I love to make people laugh :). XOXO.

  42. Rachel January 31 at 5:41 pm

    guilty :)

  43. Miss Dee January 31 at 4:08 pm

    Now, see, the breast pumping sounds just had me laughing until I dang-near choked. You are so WRONG, Gen! LOL!

    • Genevieve January 31 at 11:57 pm

      If it feels this right, how can it be wrong :). LOL! Glad you got a laugh. That’s what it’s about :).

  44. Priscilla January 31 at 3:54 pm

    Love it, thanks for the laugh!

  45. Ashley January 31 at 3:08 pm

    So funny! I couldn’t stop laughing. :) I’ve said quite a bit of those…

  46. Shera January 31 at 2:51 pm

    ohh….this is toooo funny!! Only “we” get it. :)

Trackbacks

  1. [...] In my research, I also came across the blog site of “Mama Natural” who had a pretty amazing natural birth in a hospital-based alternative birthing center (she has a three-part video on her vlog).  For some reason, I connected with her.  I don’t agree with everything she blogs about or promotes, but in general, I like her.  She has a great library of vlogs regarding pregnancy and holistic living.  She’s also super funny, as evidenced by this video, “Sh*t Crunchy Mamas Say“. [...]

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