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When did you realize you were really in labor?
It was my due date. I had been having very minor period-type cramps on and off throughout the week, but nothing time-able and they weren't really painful at all. At that point I was SO ready to meet baby, but every time I thought it might be a real contraction, it petered out, so I didn't have my hopes up. First pregnancies usually go over the due date by a week or so, so I really wasn't expecting to actually go into labor that day! I had a chiropractor appointment in the evening, and I hoped that he'd be able to get me all adjusted so my eventual labor would be easier. The chiropractor said he could use some particular pressure points to jump start labor if I was ready, and I figured it might be worth a shot, so I agreed. He did some massage on my ears, which I didn't expect, and it seemed to have worked...on the way home about 20 minutes later, I felt a contraction that involved my lower back. That was new! Then the contractions started feeling more painful and coming more frequently, every time we'd hit a bump in the road. I began to think that this was probably the real thing, so we grabbed fast food and headed back home. I figured we probably had a long time to go, though...first labors often take a while, so there was no rush. How wrong I was, haha!
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What was the most challenging thing about going natural?
Probably trying to remember all my techniques for coping with pain, and having to adjust them when some didn't work. And the ideas of "what if" that would pop into my head...what if I can't handle it? What if the pain gets way worse? What if something goes wrong? It really was a mental game more than anything else. I feel like the biggest challenge was staying positive and calm and remembering to breathe and relax my muscles. But being at home made a huge difference in that. I think that if I had been in the hospital, I would have had a lot more anxiety and wouldn't have been able to focus and center myself as much, so I would have experienced a lot MORE pain than I did.
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What was the most helpful thing you did to prepare for childbirth?
Definitely reading positive birth stories and watching lots of home birth videos. Until fairly recently, I had NEVER expected to be the kind of person who would have a natural home birth. As a kid, thinking about giving birth, I always thought I'd say give me the drugs right away! :) But the more I have embraced other healthy life choices and have studied and talked to other moms about their natural labors, and after witnessing the benefits of our first son's natural birth (we adopted him at birth, and his amazing birth mother had a natural labor with a fast recovery), I totally changed my mind. Watching videos and seeing that birth was NOT a horrible, extremely painful and traumatic thing helped to keep me in the right mindset and to actually get excited about labor. Plus, I loved the idea of doing a water birth, since warm baths and hot tubs are my favorite ways to relax.
It was also VERY helpful to have studied lots of different methods for pain management. I took the online Birth Boot Camp class, which introduced me to a few different types based on things like Bradley, Lamaze, and Hypnobabies. I read up on exercises, stances to use during contractions, and downloaded lots of relaxing audio tracks to guide my breathing. I also totally recommend Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. It's a must read! I loved how it was a great blend of positive birth stories of every type of situation, and also a great breakdown of how labor works and what you can do to make it easier.
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What surprised you about your birth?
SO many things surprised me, because it went differently than I had expected. First of all, that I went into labor on my due date, and that it was much faster and easier than I thought it would be. (Actual painful contractions didn't start until maybe 11pm, and I delivered at 6am the next morning) My contractions were never consistent, either. I tried to track them with an app on my phone, and sent them to my midwife so she could decide when to come to the house. But they were all over the place! So that made us think that I wouldn't deliver any time soon and she could take her time, because she was with another laboring mom that night (another surprise...that mom had gone super late past her due date; we weren't expected to overlap). However, that wasn't the case! When I started throwing up and thinking "I am not sure if I can do this," it occurred to me that I just might be in transition. At that moment, my water broke. So I told my husband to call the midwife and get her there ASAP. Good thing I did, because when she arrived and checked me, I was at 9.5 cm!
But the most surprising thing was that it was NOT as bad as people/the media make you think. I feel like if you don't let yourself panic and don't focus on thinking about pain, any woman can do this! It was definitely painful at times, and a lot of hard work, but I could handle it. You get breaks in between contractions, and when you allow your body to do what it knows how to do, natural endorphins help a lot. In fact, I made everyone in the room laugh when the midwife told me I was at 9.5 and I smiled and said "Yes! This is totally doable!"
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Think of birth as an exciting marathon where you get to meet your baby soon. Each contraction just brings them closer! And if you need more reasons to go natural, I can tell you that the natural high you feel after delivery is like nothing else.
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What pain relief strategies worked best?
Unfortunately, the techniques for coping that I thought would work well really didn't for me, so I'm glad I had a full toolbox of things to try that I had studied. I had planned on using hypno tracks and relaxing music and imagery to help with pain, since I'm a very visual person and am good at retreating into myself. But when I tried to listen to them during contractions, I just couldn't concentrate on them at all. In fact, one exercise that guides you through tensing and releasing different areas of the body made the contractions WORSE when I'd think about tensing. So that idea went out the window! Next I tried the exercise ball, squatting, and walking around. Nope. Movement also made the pain far worse, not better like it was supposed to. Looking back, I think the baby may have been sitting in the birth canal at a weird angle or something, because it was only remaining perfectly still during a contraction that helped. I was getting worried about coping as they got more painful, when finally my sister in law suggested trying "rhythm." I would think of a song I liked, then tap out the rhythm with my fingers during a contraction. Finally, that helped a lot! It took my mind off the pain. Also, doing low moans and vocalizations with a relaxed jaw was a big help. I always thought I'd be a silent laborer, but being vocal felt good, so I ended up loudly saying "ohhhhhhh" or mooing like a cow through most of the contractions! The biggest help, however, was being in the warm water. My husband said he could see the relief on my face when I got into the birthing pool. I love the water! I loved being able to stretch out lay on the soft edge, floating.
During the crowning phase, which was probably the most painful part for me, what helped was to keep those vocalizations low (not high pitched panic sounds...my husband and midwife would remind me to stay low in order to relax the muscles) and also to do "horse lips," where I'd blow out through relaxed lips like a horse whinnying. Relaxing your jaw relaxes your body, so that helped me not to tear too badly. I didn't end up needing any stitches, yay!
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What position did you end up delivering in?
Surprisingly, leaning back. I always thought I'd maybe squat or do hands and knees, but when it came time to push, I felt a strong urge to lay back on the pool's edge. My husband and midwife were behind me and at my side. Your body totally guides you to do what it needs! And I'm kind of glad I ended up in that position, because there was a really cool moment after his head was out where he opened his eyes under the water and was making faces at everyone...whoa!
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How did it feel to hold your baby for the first time?
A great rush of joy and relief. All the pain immediately stopped and I got a huge smile and said "we did it! Oh my gosh, we did it!" It was such a happy, exciting moment. So worth it. It was a bit surreal though, like "whoa, am I really done?"
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What advice can you give to other mamas who want to go natural?
That you CAN do it! Don't let people scare you off with their horror stories of "the worst pain of your life" or "a friend of a friend died in childbirth...." That will not help...of course if you go into something terrified, it will be much harder and more painful. Think of birth as an exciting marathon where you get to meet your baby soon. Each contraction just brings them closer! And if you need more reasons to go natural, I can tell you that the natural high you feel after delivery is like nothing else. Mine continued for two whole days. I had insane energy and was all smiles, and my baby was very alert and happy as well. I was actually shocked at how good I felt right after labor, and my recovery was very fast and easy.
