Birth Stories

Talking To Her Midwife About Her Fears Helped Eva Achieve Her Natural Home Birth

  • When did you realize you were really in labor?

    At around 4.15 A.M. my water broke, which woke me up. I knew right away that it was my water breaking, because I had heard some kind of 'pop' and I could smell right away the distinct smell, which I did not recognize as amniotic fluid but I knew for sure that it was not urine, so I figured: this has to be it! At that point I knew the baby was probably going to be born that day or tomorrow, but I remembered that my midwife had told us that we didn't need to call right away, because thing might progress rather slowly after my water breaking. I didn't have any contractions yet. So I woke up my husband and together we got into action mode: covering the bed with plastic (although we were planning to go to the birthing center we agreed to do this just to be sure and because my water had broken it seemed to be a good idea to cover the bed), packing a bag for our older child so that she could stay with her grandma for at least one day and one night, calling mother in law to come and get the older child... that took about 20 minutes. After all of that (and and extended bathroom visit) I felt the first contraction, it was very mild and not painful. I decided to get on the bed and rest a little. After 2-3 minutes another contraction came, much stronger. I called my husband, but we decided to wait still a little bit to call the midwife. In less than a minute another contraction came, really really strong. I knew then it wasn't going to take much more time before transition stage, so I told my husband to call the midwife. To cut the story short: our son was born less than an hour later. The midwife arrived just 5 minutes before he came out, but she had been guiding us through the telephone. Luckily she had instructed us to get to the bedroom, and not to get in the car. Our older daughter was still asleep in the room next to us.

  • What was the most challenging thing about going natural?

    The most scary moment was after I gave birth: our son did not cry. It was such a blessing that the midwife had arrived just on time, so that she could give him a little oxygen. Luckily he started to breath right after that. But the moment really stroke us, especially my husband who had been in full action mode until then: opening the door to let people in, helping the midwife checking times, getting towels etc. After the birth there was this natural moment of quietness, action is over, baby is arrived. But the baby was not doing what it was supposed to do, so again there was this rush: midwife acted quickly and competent and got the baby to breathe quickly. But for that moment leading up to it we were all holding our breaths with him.

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  • What was the most helpful thing you did to prepare for childbirth?

    Talking to the midwife about my fears. My first birth had unfortunately not been a pleasant or empowering experience, because of (in my and my midwife's opinion) unnecessary medical interventions. She had told me: it wouldn't surprise me if this time things would progress easily and fast. She was right!

  • What surprised you about your birth?

    How fast it went. And I also remember thinking: oh wow, these contractions are a lot better manageable than in my first birth, this time without the pitocin. I also remember realizing that the pushing contractions were much less painful than the first time. I don't know why that was the case, maybe my body was able to soothe the pain for me better this time, because it was an unmedicated birth, or maybe the muscles in my birth canal were not as tight as the first time (I am a runner, and throughout both of my pregnancies I was able to keep my running routine in - although not as fast as when I'm not pregnant). Or maybe a combination of those things.

  • I loved to be very conscious in this pregnancy, being aware of the position of the baby, my diet, my psychological well being etc. It was in a way a very healing and spiritual time working toward the birth. At the same time I have always kept in mind that it may go very different than I planned, or hoped or expected.
  • What pain relief strategies worked best?

    The shower was a great relieve. When my midwife told me through the telephone that I had to come out of the shower I screamed: noooo! I don't want to get out of the shower!!
    When I was on the bed managing the contractions I was very concentrated, not screaming or even communicating. I was lying on my side, breathing. That worked.

  • What position did you end up delivering in?

    Lying on my back. I never thought that was the position I would deliver in. My midwife asked me to go in that position, and I thought: oh no... that's going to hurt, I don't want to! But it actually was quite relaxing to change to that position and the pain was manageable. The baby came out quickly and rather easily after changing to that position. The midwife instructed me to push not so hard, but to give little pushes. She couldn't help me very well, because I was on the wrong side of the bed, in the rush we did not read the instruction the midwife gave us earlier that it was best to choose a position on the right side of the bed, so that the midwife could reach and follow it easily (because most people are right handed). But I was on the other side, so when the head of the baby was out, I remember that she made a very skilled move to help the baby come out, get ready to catch him and hand him over to me while she was supporting me with her instructions at the same time. It all looked and felt so skilled and professional to me that I trusted her that all would be well.

  • How did it feel to hold your baby for the first time?

    It felt a little unreal; is my baby really born?! I had the impression that the baby had the same feeling: am I born? He did not cry or breathe in the beginning, which was quite scary, especially for my husband. I was still in the endorphin rush, and I was so relieved that it all had been done and that the midwife had arrived on time that I had confidence that all would be well. But my husband had been in action mode until that moment: helping me to get in the shower, cover the bed, get me in the bed, supporting me, checking the time... the moment when our son was born was the first quiet moment of the whole ride. It really sunk in for him that the baby looked purple and flaggy and not very vital in that first moment.
    After a minute or so the baby started to breathe, by the grace of God. He did not cry though, but the midwife said that's not necessary, although it's rare, but breathing is enough. After that moment, when all was well, it all sunk in to me: wow I had a baby! It was kind of unexpected, at 37 weeks. We even hadn't made the final decision on the name yet!

  • How did the Mama Natural Birth Class help you in your childbirth?

    I loved to be very conscious in this pregnancy, being aware of the position of the baby, my diet, my psychological well being etc. It was in a way a very healing and spiritual time working toward the birth. At the same time I have always kept in mind that it may go very different than I planned, or hoped or expected. I'm glad I was not stuck in my birth plan, because all went different than we had planned. I was not scared when it turned out to be a very rapid home birth, because I knew what was happening because of the birth class. And I was in good hands with my midwife on her way and arriving just on time.

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