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When did you realize you were really in labor?
I had prodromal labor (false labor) since the beginning of February so I wrongly assumed that my baby, due on Feb. 12, would be early, or at least arrive by the time my other children were born (+3 and +4 days past due). However, at +10 days, my painful, time-able contractions were not moving into active labor. I was exhausted and to make matters worse, the postpartum help I had enlisted was set to leave, my birthday was just three days away, and my wonderful midwife was departing for a month long vacation. We had to do something, but I did not want to be induced. I did not want to give up my dream of my first home birth. At this point, my midwife had stripped my membranes at 41 weeks and again at that day's checkup. We made a plan for her to come over the next morning to break my water. Starting around 8 pm, I again started to have my nightly contractions. These were the most painful yet and were about three to seven minutes apart all night, lasting for about 40 seconds. I do not know if they would have naturally kicked into active labor, but they continued even as my midwife ruptured my membranes. It felt like a small, warm gush (as opposed to the forceful pop I'd felt with my previous children) and I prepared myself for many hours of contractions. Thankfully, I didn't have to wait long because right away my contractions strengthened. They were not much more painful than before the rupture. It only took about 20 minutes until I realized that this was working and my baby was coming quickly. We called my midwife to return and by the time she arrived, I was having regular, painful contractions lasting up to 2 minutes in length and coming only about one to two minutes apart. Although things lulled a bit before I started pushing, I pushed for only around 10 minutes. In the end, it was less than four hours after my membranes were ruptured that I first held my little girl in my arms.
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What was the most challenging thing about going natural?
False labor was incredibly challenging. Even though this was my third natural birth, I seriously doubted my body's ability to go into labor. The contractions in the three weeks leading up to her birth were painful and kept me from getting the sleep I needed. It was disheartening to wake up every morning to realize that the contractions again petered out in the early morning hours. I also felt like a burden to my family and care providers who had to be on alert for so many days.
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What was the most helpful thing you did to prepare for childbirth?
The most helpful thing I did was to be realistic about what I wanted from this birth experience. I was initially going to have a hospital birth until a last minute switch at 28 weeks to this home birth practice. It took a great deal of consideration and research to change direction, but since then, it was something I had my heart set on. As the days ticked on, I felt like my chances of achieving that experience were slipping away. I did not want any interventions, but I felt respected and heard as I worked with my birth team to select what was, ultimately, a perfect option for my body, my family, and my birth.
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What surprised you about your birth?
I was surprised at how truly magical the home birth experience could be. It is not an understatement to say that it dramatically improved my prenatal care, my labor and delivery, and my postpartum time. Even as a third time mom, I realized that I still have questions and concerns that deserve to be heard. I also understand that it's not selfish to request humane treatment during labor and delivery. In fact, I felt safer and more secure than I ever had before because in addition to my husband, I had two experienced professionals guiding me through each contraction and offering advice to help ease the process. After our daughter was born, I was given time and space to meet my daughter and celebrate with my husband. The peace and love I felt in those first moments have just continued to grow in the days since her arrival.
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Research homebirth! Before this birth, I wrongly assumed that homebirth was dangerous, messy, expensive, and "crunchy." It was anything but those things. I felt like my care (which was covered as an in-network procedure) was more comprehensive and safer than ever before because trained medical professionals were actually monitoring me throughout the labor and delivery-- not popping in intrusively and sporadically.
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What pain relief strategies worked best?
My birth was fast so by the time I realized I was in active labor, it was all about focusing through the contraction and getting beyond it. In early labor, and during my prodromal labor, I took baths, rolled on the ball, and took deep breaths.
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What position did you end up delivering in?
I was side lying during pushing. I felt the urge to push early. As it turned out, I was only 6 cm dilated when I first felt like I should push. My midwife later told me it was due to her posterior position. I am thankful she did not tell me that I was "only" 6 cm, because I ended up delivering her less than 30 minutes later.
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How did it feel to hold your baby for the first time?
This was the first baby for whom we did not learn the gender, so it was surreal to hold her and realize that she was a girl! I could feel that this baby was going to be bigger than my other babies (she was 9 lbs, 4 oz), so I assumed that she was a going to be a boy. I also felt like I was carrying more similarly to when I had my boy. I was so happy to be able to use the girl name we loved and that our family was finally complete.
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What advice can you give to other mamas who want to go natural?
Research home birth! Before this birth, I wrongly assumed that home birth was dangerous, messy, expensive, and "crunchy." It was anything but those things. I felt like my care (which was covered as an in-network procedure) was more comprehensive and safer than ever before because trained medical professionals were actually monitoring me throughout the labor and delivery-- not popping in intrusively and sporadically. My midwives were also skilled at keeping my home clean; there was not even one drop of blood or fluids in my home. Finally, what I thought would feel crunchy, actually felt empowering and peaceful. It was not rushed and antagonistic. I did not have to be my own "advocate," blocking my doctor's requests to speed along how my body works.
