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When did you realize you were really in labor?
I woke up at about 2am with my contractions. They were uncomfortable and unfamiliar (as I had only experienced back labor with my son), but it felt like she was hitting my pubic bone more than my cervix. I decided to get up and walk up and down the stairs in our home to try to get her readjusted. After 10 laps, I could tell that she was in the right position. The contractions continued to become "longer, stronger and closer together", and I finally called my midwife at 6am.
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What was the most challenging thing about going natural?
Prior to labor, it was believing in my ability to birth naturally. My son had been born in a hospital and I had received an epidural when I was 5cm. I knew a bit about what labor felt like, but was worried that it may reach a point that it was too intense for me to handle. By doing everything I could to prepare for labor, and by remembering how terrible I felt after my first child's birth, I was able to gain confidence. Once I was in labor, the most challenging thing about going natural was pushing. With the help of my husband, I was able to stay in a very positive place up until I felt the urge to push. I even remember being in transition and thinking to myself: "Wow, this is not nearly as bad as I expected, I could handle more." Once I began feeling the urge to push, I got into the birthing tub, and almost immediately felt out of control of myself. I knew I needed to get out of the pool. My midwife was incredible at keeping me focused and reminding me to "let it be". I got out of the pool and she was born 10 minutes later!
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What was the most helpful thing you did to prepare for childbirth?
My husband and I had barely done anything to prepare for my first birth. As a result, I felt so unloved and unsupported by him when I was in labor. He had no idea what I was experiencing, and no clue how to help me. It really drove a wedge in our marriage. For this birth, we did everything we could to prepare. We took Bradley classes. We spoke at length about our hopes and dreams for our birth. We decided to hire a midwife to achieve the home birth we both envisioned. We discussed our fears and our doubts. We watched videos of natural births on YouTube. We watched "The Business of Being Born". We read many natural birth stories. As a result, he was with me every step of the way while I was in labor. He knew how to support me, and took nothing personally. He was my rock. After 8 years together, I can tell you that I never loved my husband more than I did on that day. It has been the most amazing boost to our marriage.
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What surprised you about your birth?
How preparing to handle the pain made the pain so manageable. I loved having my husband there for support. However, even when he wasn't directly with me (like when I was taking a shower just before transition began), I was able to go to a place of strength within myself and get through each contraction without self doubt. This is not scary, dangerous pain. It is natural, and necessary to bring this beautiful child earthside.
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By doing everything I could to prepare for labor, and by remembering how terrible I felt after my first child's birth, I was able to gain confidence.
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What pain relief strategies worked best?
Closing my eyes and groaning deeply. If my husband was nearby I would wrap my arms around his neck and place my head against his chest and groan. I would think to myself: "open". A warm shower was also nice.
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What position did you end up delivering in?
Lying on my side, propped up on my forearm with my husband behind me. My husband held my top leg up in the air, and the assistant midwife pushed against my foot (for some reason the pressure from her pushing on my foot felt incredible). I would wrap my arm around my husbands neck while pushing, as it felt more supported.
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How did it feel to hold your baby for the first time?
Incredible! I was crying and kept saying "My baby! Oh my goodness, I did it." I was so proud of myself, and so proud of my husband, and so in love with this child. It was perfect. I have never had such an emotional high.
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What advice can you give to other mamas who want to go natural?
Prepare! Do everything you can to stay away from "scary" birth stories, because this is not the only way to birth. Ensure that you have a very open communication with your partner. Talk about every fear, every dream, everything. Take classes. I recommend Bradley Method. When you know what is going on, it is no longer scary. It is miraculous. Trust your body, you were made to birth your baby!
