Briana's Cesarean Birth

When did you realize you were really in labor?

I started going into labor on a Friday night after my husband and I got into bed after attending a wedding that evening. I was having contractions for about 3 hours until I finally fell asleep. When I woke up in the morning, however, they were completely gone. I was already a week past my due date, so you can imagine my disappointment that I had to continue waiting to meet our baby girl. The contractions continued night after night starting a few hours earlier each night. Monday morning my doctors office called to check on me and I told them I had bloody show, so they advised me to go to the hospital. I went in that evening, but after now 4 nights of prodromal labor I was only 1 cm dilated. I had every intention of going home that night, however I was admitted due to stroke level blood pressure. That night I had horrible contractions again, but once the morning came, the contractions were very infrequent throughout the day. Tuesday evening my doctor told me he wanted to induce because I was fast approaching 42 weeks and it was time. I was determined to continue with my natural birth, so I wanted to hold out a bit longer. He told me he’d give me a sleeping pill so I could have a night of therapeutic rest, and we’d break my water in the morning and start me on a bit of pitocin if need be. That night couldn’t have been further from therapeutic! The contractions were coming on so strong and were lasting for 7-10 minutes each. My nurse told me she had never seen a labor with contractions that followed no pattern. I barely had a moment to rest before the next would come on. I realized I was shutting down, and preventing my body from doing what it needed to do because of the pain. My husband sprayed me with hot water from the shower hose while I contemplated an epidural. The nurse told me it was my only option for pain since anything else would get in the baby’s bloodstream and depress her heart rate. Had I been able to soak in a hot bath I think I could’ve held out since the hot water was the only thing helping my body relax as I was now trembling uncontrollably from head to toe from the pain and I was suddenly freezing. My husband knew how important a natural birth was to me, so when I asked him what I should do he said it was up to me, but he looked completely broken and told me how hard it was for him to watch me in that much pain and not do anything to take it away. I caved and went for the epidural. I was so upset, but finally felt some relief when my nurse told me I just had a contraction and I didn’t feel a thing. I was finally able to get some a little rest after being up for 3 days straight. The next morning I was still only 3 cm dilated. I couldn’t believe my body was going through this kind of pain and yet I still wasn’t dilating. I couldn’t help but feel like my body was letting me down. My doctor reassured me I hadn’t failed, I had tried harder than anyone he’d ever known to follow through with a natural birth despite my extremely atypical labor. I had after all been in labor for 3 days and it was time to meet our baby. I couldn’t say I didn’t agree with him, and my husband and I were beyond ready to meet our girl. He then broke my water and started me on pitocin. After a few hours I was dilated to a 6. I was checked hourly, but stalled at 6 cm. The baby kept dropping, however my cervix wouldn’t dilate, so she was getting more and more impacted in my pelvis. Since I was now on the clock after having my bag of waters ruptured the doctor told me I could continue laboring for a few hours, but he believed I would stall again and end up needing a C-Section, and if I didn’t manage to fully dilate, the baby would need to be forceps or vacuum extracted because of how impacted she was. He told me risks were increasing for both her and I, since I was now on oxygen since her heart rate was slowing, so I decided to bite the bullet and go for the C-section. After all, the most important thing was having a healthy baby, not my birth plan going accordingly. My room was suddenly flooded with people prepping me for surgery. I got hugs and kisses from my dad and in-laws and was off. The nurses and my doctor kept reassuring me that I would be done in no time and not to worry. I wasn’t worried or scared about the surgery in the least, but my eyes were filled with tears because my natural birth that was so important to me ended up being the furthest thing from it. A C-section was the absolute last thing I wanted, yet here I was being wheeled to the OR. My husband had to wait outside while the anesthetist poked me and adjusted my anesthesia accordingly. My husband was finally by my side and they began. I was getting nauseous from the anesthesia so was trying to breathe slowly and intentionally. I felt my insides being tugged and was getting impatient waiting for our girl to finally be out already. The anesthetist told me to be patient, I was after all having major abdominal surgery. The doctor said he was almost there, and then we heard her, she cried as the doctor lifted her over the drape for us to take our first look. My husband and I started bawling, and suddenly my disappointment over my birth plan falling to pieces vanished, we had a healthy baby girl, and I realized my body didn’t fail me at all, it had formed this perfect human being that I couldn’t wait to hold in my arms! While she was being weighed and measured, my organs were put back into place and I was stitched up. When the nurse brought her and set her on my chest for skin to skin it was completely surreal. I had waited for this moment for so long and here she finally was! My husband had to hold her with me since my left arm was completely numb and I couldn’t lift it and my body was shaking so hard from the combination of the cold operating room and the anesthesia. Nothing else mattered at that very moment as time stood still with our little bundle of joy resting comfortably on mamas chest.

What was the most challenging thing about going natural?

The most challenging thing was accepting that I wasn’t going to have the birth I had envisioned from the moment I found out we were expecting, and putting my trust in my doctor. I finally realized he was the professional, he’d seen thousands of births, and if he said it was safest for my daughter and I to have a C-section, as upset as I was about it, I needed to listen to him and allow the plan to unfold as God intended.

What was the most helpful thing you did to prepare for childbirth?

I read Mama Natural! I also attended a 6 week Lamaze class with my husband.

What surprised you about your birth?

That nothing about it was predictable, my entire birth plan went out the window, but it didn’t matter in the end when I finally held my healthy baby girl in my arms! I was also surprised that the night of my C-section, as soon as my fluids finished and the nurse removed my IV, I took a shower and was walking around without any assistance. I was in the hospital for one full day afterwards, then went home the following afternoon and immediately did laundry and started tidying up our house. I had heard of so many women having such difficult recoveries, but since I had already been through such an incredible amount of pain 6 nights in a row, I felt like the C-section and the recovery was a walk in the park in comparison.

Give it your all, but don’t feel ashamed if your birth plan doesn’t follow through as expected. You didn’t fail, your body knows what it is doing, there is a higher plan that will unfold no matter what you did to prepare yourself, and it’ll all be worth it the moment your baby is in your arms.

What pain relief strategies worked best?

The only thing that helped me relax and ease my pain was my husband spraying hot water from the shower hose on me. I only wish I would’ve had access to a tub.

What position did you end up delivering in?

I ended up with a C-section, so was on my back.

How did it feel to hold your baby for the first time?

Words can’t describe the amount of joy I felt! I couldn’t stop crying I was so happy! The 42 week wait was finally over and my stubborn little girl was right where she was supposed to be!

What advice can you give to other mamas who want to go natural?

Give it your all, but don’t feel ashamed if your birth plan doesn’t follow through as expected. You didn’t fail, your body knows what it is doing, there is a higher plan that will unfold no matter what you did to prepare yourself, and it’ll all be worth it the moment your baby is in your arms.