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When did you realize you were really in labor?
Around mid-morning I could tell that things were progressing steadily and that I would most likely be having my baby that day.
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What was the most challenging thing about going natural?
I have terrible back labor, so that is always what is most painful for me. The other thing that is unfortunately hard about going natural is feeling like sometimes you have to fight for it, especially when in a hospital setting.
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What was the most helpful thing you did to prepare for childbirth?
Using midwifes that I trusted. This was my third child with the same hospital midwife group, so I asked for what I wanted to be different from the other two hospital experiences and was able to have exactly what I had hoped for.
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What surprised you about your birth?
Every birth has been so unbelievably powerful, vulnerable, and empowering. Both an out-of-body and yet completely engaged experience. I was surprised at how different the labor progression was from my previous births.
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Know that every birth is different and that you don't have control over exactly how things will go, be flexible and give yourself grace if things do not go as planned.
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What pain relief strategies worked best?
In early labor I always try to keep busy going through my normal day. I wait as long as possible to go into the hospital. The day of Olive's birth we went for a walk around our neighborhood with our kids, dropped by a friend's house, ate out for brunch. We enjoyed our day and keep me distracted while I labored and grew excited as things progressed.
When I first got into the hospital room I thought about using the tub, that’s what I had always wanted to try, but my back labor was so strong and painful that I felt I needed to stand, lean, squat, and keep moving with Jeff pushing on my back. I kept asking my midwife, Aubree, how I could make this go faster and she said to keep being active and changing potions. I had to choose to labor and work. I sat on the toilet for several contractions, a great position for moving things along but very painful. I knelt on the couch and leaned against to window ledge. I labored up on my knees on the bed leaning against the top. I labored standing and leaning on the bed. I labored squatting down and holding onto the bed. At one point I lamented that this was taking longer than with my son and that I wanted to be done. Aubree coached my breathing and vocalizations. Breath the baby down, deepen your vocalizations. Jeff was an amazing support just as he was with the other two, pushing on my back when I needed him to, reminding me of what Aubree was saying.
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What position did you end up delivering in?
I had a couple of pushes standing and squatting by the bed with my husband holding me up until someone brought the birth stool over to me. (When I had first seen the birthing stool upon entering the room I thought- what the heck is that, there’s no way I’m using that, that does not look helpful at all. But it turned out to be very helpful.) It took about three big pushes on the birth stool. The contractions actually slowed down a bit and I was so ready to push her out that I remember growing impatient at waiting for the next contraction to push. After the first push on the stool, I reach down to see if I could feel her head. Aubree said that she could see her head and that she had hair. This was exciting and I asked if it was dark hair like my daughter’s had been. At the next push I started to lean back against Jeff and straighten out my legs in front of me but Aubree reminded me to engage and sit up, pushing and breathing her down and out. I choose to do the hardest work of my life once again, pushing a third time and feeling her slide out, reaching down to catch her. Aubree quickly reached in a unwrapped the cord that was wrapped around her neck. I then pulled her up to my chest. Instantly the pain was gone and I felt that blessed wave of relief and joy.
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How did it feel to hold your baby for the first time?
When I pulled her up to my chest I exclaimed something to the effect of “Thank you Jesus! It’s over! She’s so beautiful! I love you my sweet girl!” I couldn't believe something so tiny and perfect and beautiful had just come out of my body. How incredible it is to be a part of God’s creation story.
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What advice can you give to other mamas who want to go natural?
Do your research, be informed of all your options and know what you want. Find a supportive doctor or midwife and a supportive hospital, birthing center, or home birth resources. Make sure you are comfortable with your care provider and that they will support the birth you want to have. Ask a lot of questions, ask the same ones over and over if you need to. But along with all of this, know that every birth is different and that you don't have control over exactly how things will go, be flexible and give yourself grace if things do not go as planned. This is why it is so important to have a care provider that you absolutely trust and feel comfortable with.
