Having a Doula Who is Her Mom Helped Kate During Her Hospital Birth

When did you realize you were really in labor?

My labor came on really slowly over the course of two weeks. I was 1cm, then 3cm a week later, then 5cm a week after that. I'd been having contractions but nothing consistent enough to even call my doctor. At 40 weeks and 5 days I went for my regular appointment and my blood pressure was up. From there I went to the hospital and after a long wait they broke my water since nothing was moving forward. Once that happen, everything starting really moving forward quickly and I realized that was real labor! My son was ready to come but needed a little push and once that happened he was really ready to go.

What was the most challenging thing about going natural?

Absolutely standing up for what I wanted. I was in a hospital that had a birthing center, with doctors who said natural birth was "absolutely fine" and I still had to really stick up for myself. They really wanted to start Pitocin but I was able to wait it out for a long time and then allowed them to break my water instead. If my blood pressure hadn't been up, and I hadn't had a low platelet count for the entire pregnancy that was still going down, I would have gone home and tried to allow it all to happen without any interventions at all. Having my water broken seemed like the least problematic intervention because it could've just happened naturally as I was walking around but it didn't. And I really wanted to avoid any drugs. But it still took me and my support team a lot of convincing for the doctors to leave me alone.

What was the most helpful thing you did to prepare for childbirth?

My mom was a doula all while I was growing up so I had her by my side not only for the birth but for the weeks leading up to it. If I hadn't had her, and the support of my husband and my step-mom, I never would have gotten the outcome I wanted. It's extremely hard to stand up for yourself in a hospital and my team was there to support me every step of the way.

What surprised you about your birth?

My mom always told me that giving birth naturally was hard like trying to move a piano by yourself, not hard like having someone break your arms. And I never knew what that meant until I did it. I was surprised how every muscle in my body was involved and how much I had to listen to the nurse and my mom coach me into learning what I was doing when I was pushing. It's like learning to use muscles you never knew you had. The more you can listen to the people around you when they tell you "whatever you're doing, keep doing that" the most useful each round of pushing will be.

I also was surprised by my ability to lose my composure. I am a very controlled person and I was surprised but how much I was able to let my inhibitions go during labor and delivery. Your mind is so not able to keep control which for me was a great lesson going into becoming a mother. You certainly can't control everything!

Don't go into it with any doubt that you can do it. If you make room for any doubt there is room for people/doctors to guide you away from what you are hoping to accomplish. And also to remember that we are made to do this. It is not fun, or easy, or pain free, but it is an incredible experience that I would never want to have lost or diminished with drugs.

What pain relief strategies worked best?

My son was born face up so I experienced all my labor pains in my back. Having my husband apply counter pressure to my lower back during the contractions was the only thing that alleviated any of the pain.

What position did you end up delivering in?

I ended up on my back in the bed because I had gotten in the bed to try and relax and then everything started happening so quickly I didn't want to get out. It ended up working well for me because I was able to hold onto the railings of the bed during contractions and pushing and that helped (though my arms were sore for days!)

How did it feel to hold your baby for the first time?

It was incredible. I was so worn out during the end of delivery after pushing for a few hours but once he was in my arms it was like none of the delivery had even happened. I was so completely involved in him that everything from the last 7 hours disappeared.

What advice can you give to other mamas who want to go natural?

I would say don't go into it with any doubt that you can do it. If you make room for any doubt there is room for people/doctors to guide you away from what you are hoping to accomplish. And also to remember that we are made to do this. It is not fun, or easy, or pain free, but it is an incredible experience that I would never want to have lost or diminished with drugs. Once my son was born, I was completely myself. I could walk, go to the bathroom, take shower, hold him, nurse him, etc. and everyone kept telling me (and is still telling me weeks later) how "alert" he is for a newborn. I think thats because he went through the birthing process and wasn't polluted with any drugs.