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When did you realize you were really in labor?
The moment we went to bed. I had been visiting the bathroom too many times and realized my body was done being pregnant!!! So right then and there I put on my favourite movies (Tank girl and Ever after) and "relaxed" as much as possible in between contractions.
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What was the most challenging thing about going natural?
I decided from day one that I wanted to have no drugs. But then my little one decided he would teach me about being a parent. Things are never what you would think. I had trouble finding any information online about natural birth for a lesbian. And I wanted my wife to feel just as important as a mom to be as I did. It was expensive and tricky but we found a queer prenatal class run by the 519 community centre. It gave us a sense of connection to our small community and a support in this wonderful experience.
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What was the most helpful thing you did to prepare for childbirth?
I read a lot (I loved birthing from within). I found weekly update YouTube vids to watch and spoke to seasoned moms. I even watched Ricki Lakes "the birthing business" movie.
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What surprised you about your birth?
A few things:
That I bled on the hospital floor
That it really was so hard
That I did it
Just how calm and supportive the nurses were
How long my wife can go without eating because I wouldn't let her leave the room
:)
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I'm so grateful to have had my perfect angel even though my birth was not how I wanted. I read of people mourning their births. And I realized that no one gets this perfect birth.
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What pain relief strategies worked best?
Yoga ball
Rocking on it
Cold cloth on the face
Deep breaths
Partner helping rub lower back
Support standing and swaying
Chanting positive affirmations
Mine were
"I'm ok"
"Its going away"
My midwife told me that you can only have ONE contraction at a time. It turns out she was right.
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What position did you end up delivering in?
On my back
Unfortunately after 18 hours of natural labour 4 of which I spent pushing my baby was "stuck" at +1. My midwife transferred my care to the OB and I was rushed to the OR
this was because we were both in distress. I ended up with an episiotomy and vacuum assisted birth. I'm so grateful to have had my perfect angel even though my birth was not how I wanted. I read of people mourning their births. And I realized that no one gets this perfect birth. It was the first time I held my baby in my arms and that's all that matters.
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How did it feel to hold your baby for the first time?
I have gone through the story many times
In my mind. Every time I cry. Every time I hear a myself have the single most amazing money of my existence. This moment and the moments after them truly defined my life in a way that have no words to properly explain them. But here are a part of some words I wrote taken from my blog:
I push
I look down there's this baby
I feel so surprised
I can't believe that he is out
I thought he would never come out
I tell him I'm sorry
I can't remember why I was sorry
Maybe because I felt it was my fault he was stuck
I touch him
He is so soft
And I hold onto him so carefully
He cries loudly his little body is in my arms and I feel so overwhelmed
I show my wife our son
The doctor tells me to push
I do a couple of times
Then I watch the nurse take Jetsun to the scale
I can't really see him now
So I ask Ashley what time is it??
8:17 I hear Lesley (midwive) say
And then I don't really remember
I know I went to recovery
I was laying there shaking like a leaf
Jetsun was there w me breast feeding
It
Was
Amazing
Incredible
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What advice can you give to other mamas who want to go natural?
Think of your birth plan as a sunset. You know it will be incredible so sit back and let it humble you! Everything you need is already inside of you. Strength and courage and love.
If I could tell my 9 month pregnant self something after almost 4 years past it would be that I did a wonderful job!! Positive words are much stronger then any doubt could possibly be.
Xo
Me
