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When did you realize you were really in labor?
At midnight on Sunday night, I woke up suddenly with more intense cramps than I had been experiencing and I suspected it might be it... I went to the bathroom and the cramping increased during and after. When I went back to bed I couldn't fall asleep because the pain was coming in intervals. After timing them a while I got in the bath around 1 am and they continued. That's when I knew this was it!
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What was the most challenging thing about going natural?
I started my birth at a birth center and transferred to a hospital after 48 hours of tough back labor. My baby was stuck in a bad position and wasn't making any progress for hours and hours. My birth ended in an unplanned c-section. The most difficult part of going natural, for me, was not actually laboring naturally for that long. Yes, that was painful, but I was totally in it and happy to be working hard to meet my baby. The hardest part was emotional--the moment I realized that the C section was inevitable and my husband and I crying together through that decision. Also processing the whole thing afterward and weighing my reality against my expectations. I'm happy and at peace with everything that happened. I felt empowered at every turn, felt that the decisions we made were right for us and that my midwives and the hospital staff respected our desires at every stage. But that doesn't mean the emotional process wasn't challenging.
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What was the most helpful thing you did to prepare for childbirth?
Finding the right provider(s) was SUCH a good thing. Our birth center and midwives were amazing. I felt that I could trust them and that they wouldn't suggest a hospital transfer unless it was really the right thing. Even then, they left the decision in my hands completely. I never felt pushed into anything, which was important for me.
We had visited the hospital beforehand just in case we would have an emergency, and found it was baby-friendly and we felt really at ease with the possibility of needing to transfer. I'm so glad we did that, because when I made the decision to transfer I wasn't afraid--I was relieved I would get some help after 48 hours of back labor and vomiting and no sleep! We found the hospital to be much better than we could have imagined. The staff worked with us and had so much respect for our desires for natural options and gentle birth, even in the midst of complications leading to the C section.
I also am so glad we chose to hire a doula. We weren't planning on it, but when the Mama Natural birth course talked about it, we knew we had to find a good one. And our doula was a lifesaver! From helping me labor in the tub, applying counter pressure like an absolute pro, to being by my side in the operating room, to helping me process the whole thing afterward, her help was invaluable.
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What surprised you about your birth?
I want to emphasize for other women taking this course: the most surprising thing for me was that a C section was NOT the end of the world. Before the whole thing went down, I would have said that it would be. Even earlier in labor, I thought "I'd rather die here on the floor than have them cut my baby out of me." Well, I'm here 6 weeks postpartum saying thank GOD I let them cut him out of me--it's much better than dying on the floor! In fact, I'm very proud of my journey, of my birth story, and I look back on all of it with fondness and happy emotions. Even my memories of the operating room are covered in joy, which is why I chose to share the picture of me meeting my baby Elliott for the first time, even though we are cloaked with the blue C section drape that some may consider with disdain or fear and trembling. Emergency C sections do NOT have to be traumatic. Please don't add more fear to your process by dreading the possibility of needing a C section. Take each wave as it comes, choose the right providers, and find joy in every step of the way. In the end, you get a sweet baby to love.
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Even though I had to get a C section, in the end, I feel so good about the hard work I put into my 56-hour total labor. I could not have lasted that long without the natural pain relief and mental coping methods I learned about in the class.
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What pain relief strategies worked best?
Counter pressure was my lifesaver because I had back labor the entire time. I actually never felt the contractions in my front. Or if I did, it was so minor compared to the back labor that I didn't even notice.
Laboring in different positions didn't necessarily change the pain level that much for me. It was hard for me to get the strength and energy to change positions between contractions. I needed all that valuable time to save up energy for the next one, so changing positions was always a huge pain.
Laboring in the tub was also very helpful--especially that combined with counter pressure got me through some tough hours.
I also labored in the shower with the warm water on my back. That was hugely helpful.
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How did it feel to hold your baby for the first time?
It was wonderful. I was surprised at how cute he was, how sweet his cry was, how little I cared about the blood in his hair. He was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. I didn't want him to leave my chest. Luckily he never had to because our hospital was so baby-friendly.
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What did you name your baby, and why?
Elliott Fraser. We both just liked the name Elliott--it was the only boy name we both loved. The other boy names on our list we just felt "meh" about. Fraser means strawberry. Strawberries were a big part of my pregnancy journey. I had hyperemesis gravidarum, and we live in Africa where our access to convenience foods is limited compared to the States. We have a strawberry patch in our yard and that was basically all I ate my first 4 months of pregnancy. I craved them so much! Strawberries could always quell my empty stomach nausea in a pinch. Our boy is basically made of strawberries!
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How did the Mama Natural Birth Class help you in your childbirth?
The advice to find a good provider and hire a doula was so important for us. Also I used all of the pain relief methods during my very long and intense labor. Even though I had to get a C section in the end, I feel so good about the hard work I put into my 56 hour total labor. I could not have lasted that long without the natural pain relief and mental coping methods I learned about in the class. I also found it helpful to learn about the various newborn tests and treatments that are standard. That helped us make our decisions about what we wanted Elliott to have and what we wanted to skip.
Overall, I felt well informed and empowered. Without those things, I don't think I would have felt so at peace with the ending of my story. Because I felt so educated and confident, I knew the decisions we made were the right ones at each stage. I think that's key in avoiding birth trauma--never feeling like you are being robbed of bodily autonomy and agency, and that you are able to make good decisions for you and baby at the moment. I certainly felt that way, and I'm so grateful!
